Let me just provide a quick explanation. This new throat cancer episode all started back in March 2013 but I was too ill with the therapy to post on my blog. I am now recovering, albeit very slowly , post chemo and radio and have decided to bring the blog up to date.
Contrary to popular belief, cancers of the throat and neck have a very good prognosis if they are caught early and treated. I had Stage 4 tonsil cancer with spread into the base of tongue (there is no stage 5). This was not great and I knew it. I was sick with fear… but for some reason I couldn’t get over the hurdle of just accepting the news.I was so angry, frightened and depressed: I wouldn’t allow myself to see the light or a way out.
I mulled over that it was the one cancer I always thought I would be most susceptible to. I had indulged in my early life (as my good cousin puts) and wondered if, by some karmic force, if it was time to pay back. Is this really how the world works?…. it made me think about the belief systems of different religions. I was looking for something to hold on to …. something to help me make sense of what was happening yet again.
Yes, I had binge smoked and binge drank at the weekends for most of my life from the age of 17, but then who doesn’t? Nevertheless, statistically I was still on the young side for this type of cancer, which usually presents itself in the latter decades( 60’s 70’s). Oddly enough, I had given up both smoking and drinking just over a year before…. clearly not soon enough. I was feeling so good …. so content with my life and I now all I felt were useless sentiments, “ Why me ?” …. ….. well………… ‘why anyone’ ……is the answer to that.
However, almost immediately, I found my ’silver lining’ . This beam of hope which helped me during the initial phases. If this was a new primary tumour …. then technically, I did not have metastatic breast cancer, as the node in my neck last year pertains to the tonsil/throat cancer. Therefore, one can reason that, I am a 5 years survivor of breast cancer. HOORAY!!!
Although this is great news, I should have known last year, so shame on the doctors for ignoring the clear signs of the new primary tumour. This is worthy of a separate blog entry as I can explain the series of events as they unfolded.
“If clouds are blocking the sun, there will always be a silver lining that reminds me to keep on trying.”